Letter of Complaint from Neville Crankshaw
To the Editor, I am writing to express my extreme dissatisfaction with your appallingly narrow-minded review of my film, Death in Fitzrovia. Your so-called “critic” (a term I use with reluctance) has entirely missed the point of my artistic vision, choosing instead to mock what is clearly a bold, groundbreaking exploration of revenge, mortality, and sponge-based trauma….
Film Review: “Death in Fitzrovia”—A Murderously Misguided Mess
If ever a film set out to shatter expectations and instead tripped over its own premise, Death in Fitzroviais that film. Marketed as a “harrowing tale of murder, revenge, and Victoria sponge,” the movie delivers on none of these fronts. Instead, it feels like a poorly executed community theater production inexplicably given a Hollywood budget. Directed…
The Fitzrovian to Open Ground Floor Art Gallery with Sizzling Exhibition
Fitzrovia’s beloved local publication, The Fitzrovian, is about to get a little more avant-garde. We are delighted to announce the opening of The Fitzrovia Foyer Gallery, a daring new venture into the world of contemporary art. The gallery, located on the ground floor of our esteemed newspaper offices, promises to make waves with its inaugural…
New Evidence Reveals Fitzrovia Was Named After a Mnemonic
In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the cobbled streets of Fitzrovia, historian and part-time mnemonic enthusiast Dr. Euphemia Dabbleton claims to have unearthed evidence suggesting that the beloved name of the neighborhood wasn’t inspired by any aristocratic “Fitz” family, but rather by an absurdly convoluted mnemonic device. Dr. Dabbleton, who stumbled upon…
Fitzrovia Inventor Unleashes the Dogbrella: A Paws-itively Revolutionary Invention
Fitzrovia’s reputation as a hub for eccentric genius has been further cemented this week, thanks to local inventor Susie Polteen, who has unveiled her latest creation: the world’s first “Dogbrella.” As the name suggests, the Dogbrella is a bespoke umbrella designed exclusively for dogs, aimed at keeping them dry and stylish during Britain’s frequent downpours….
Fitzrovia Man Celebrates Easter Every Day to Raise Money for Local Monkey Sanctuary
In a move that has left Fitzrovia residents baffled, amused, and occasionally envious of his chocolate intake, Seb Carlton, 34, has pledged to celebrate Easter every single day this year. His ambitious mission is to raise funds for the Cleveland Street Monkey Sanctuary, a haven for rescued monkeys that once had a turbulent past as…
Fitzrovia Man Sets Record with 500+ New Year’s Resolutions, Breaks Several by January 2nd
In a feat that has left life coaches speechless and gym membership salespeople ecstatic, Pentonville Sparks, a 42-year-old Fitzrovia resident and self-described “goal-setting enthusiast,” has won the coveted Most New Year’s Resolutions Contest. Organized annually by the Fitzrovia Self-Improvement Society, the contest rewards those who aim high, regardless of their capacity to follow through. Sparks…
Sir Cardigan Haney’s Bold Plan to Launch the Fitzrovia Ballet Company with Swan Lake—Set in an Actual Lake
Fitzrovia, known for its eclectic arts scene and avant-garde endeavors, is about to leap (gracefully) into the world of ballet—quite literally. Sir Cardigan Haney, retired diplomat, part-time haberdasher, and full-time visionary, has announced the creation of the Fitzrovia Ballet Company, with a daring and unconventional debut: Swan Lake, performed in an actual lake. The production,…
Mysterious “Monet Santa” Spreads Christmas Cheer in Fitzrovia—One Canvas Fragment at a Time
Residents of Fitzrovia have been left scratching their heads—and clutching tiny scraps of painted canvas—after an anonymous gift-giver, dubbed “Monet Santa,” began handing out small pieces of what appears to be a genuine Claude Monet painting to unsuspecting passersby. Over the past week, reports have emerged of people encountering a figure cloaked in a long,…
Fitzrovia Concert Hall Hosts Unforgettable Christmas Handel’s Messiah Performed on Vegetable Instruments
In what can only be described as a symphonic salad, Fitzrovia Concert Hall brought music lovers—and vegetable enthusiasts—together last night for a performance of Handel’s Messiah unlike any seen (or heard) before. The star-studded seasonal tradition was reinvented by The Gourmand Ensemble, a group of audacious musicians who bravely traded in their violins, trumpets, and…
