If ever a film set out to shatter expectations and instead tripped over its own premise, Death in Fitzroviais that film. Marketed as a “harrowing tale of murder, revenge, and Victoria sponge,” the movie delivers on none of these fronts. Instead, it feels like a poorly executed community theater production inexplicably given a Hollywood budget.
Directed by Neville Crankshaw—who should perhaps consider an alternate career in hedge trimming—the film follows the story of Lavinia Puddlemore (played with all the charisma of a damp sock by Elspeth Danderling), a reclusive baker who becomes embroiled in a murder mystery after a Victoria sponge cake is used as the murder weapon. Yes, you read that correctly. A cake.
The film’s central conflict revolves around whether Lavinia will solve the crime or bake another sponge for the Fitzrovia Baking Championship, which inexplicably continues despite the body count rising faster than bread dough. What begins as an attempt at moody, atmospheric noir quickly collapses under the weight of its own absurdity. Characters exchange dialogue so stilted it could double as IKEA instructions, and the plot twists are as predictable as a Bake Off rerun.
Neville Crankshaw’s direction seems to rely heavily on slow-motion close-ups of icing sugar being sifted, which might be artistic if it weren’t for the fact that these sequences last longer than Lavinia’s scenes of emotional turmoil. The climactic reveal of the murderer’s identity—a character we barely see and care even less about—is laughable. A “harrowing tale,” this is not.
The film’s only redeeming quality is the Victoria sponge itself, a lovingly crafted confection that tragically outshines the entire cast in terms of emotional depth. It’s telling when a dessert garners more sympathy from the audience than the human characters.
If Death in Fitzrovia were a cake, it would be dry, flavorless, and topped with curdled icing. Avoid at all costs, unless you’re in desperate need of a laugh at the expense of 12 pounds and two hours of your life you’ll never get back.
Rating: 1/5 (One star for the cake)
