Fitzrovia’s reputation as a hub for eccentric genius has been further cemented this week, thanks to local inventor Susie Polteen, who has unveiled her latest creation: the world’s first “Dogbrella.” As the name suggests, the Dogbrella is a bespoke umbrella designed exclusively for dogs, aimed at keeping them dry and stylish during Britain’s frequent downpours.
Speaking from her workshop on Windmill Street, Polteen, 42, explained the inspiration behind her invention. “It all started with my dachshund, Sir Drizzleworth. He detests the rain. The moment he steps outside and feels a drop of water, he just freezes, like a soggy statue of dog despair. I thought, ‘Surely someone has made an umbrella for dogs?’ But no, the world was severely lacking in canine precipitation protection.”
How It Works
The Dogbrella attaches seamlessly to a dog’s harness, featuring a lightweight aluminum frame and a semi-transparent canopy that allows pooches to gaze upward without feeling claustrophobic. Polteen has even added an adjustable tilt mechanism, accommodating everything from a towering Great Dane to a low-to-the-ground corgi.
But the pièce de résistance? A built-in treat dispenser that rewards dogs every five minutes for braving the outdoors. “Positive reinforcement is key,” Polteen added with a wink.
The Dogbrella comes in an array of colors and patterns, from classic British tweed to more avant-garde designs like “Paw Print Paradise” and “Rainy Bone Dreams.” Polteen has even partnered with local artist Florence Fluff to create a limited-edition line inspired by Fitzrovia landmarks, including a Dogbrella featuring a stylized BT Tower.
Early Reviews
Early adopters of the Dogbrella have been wagging their tails with approval. Local dog owner and part-time poet Nigel Swizzle described it as “transformative.”
“Before, my pug, Archibald, would glare at me with betrayal every time I dragged him out in the rain,” Swizzle said. “Now, with his Dogbrella, he struts around like he owns the pavement. It’s given him back his swagger.”
Others, however, have been less enthusiastic. Fitzrovia’s resident grump, Herbert Grumbold, who owns a stoic greyhound named Earl, dismissed the invention as “utter nonsense.” “Dogs were born to face the elements,” he grumbled. “My Earl doesn’t need a brolly. He needs less pampering and more proper walkies.”
The Science Behind the Dogbrella
Polteen, who holds a degree in “Innovative Weather Solutions” from the University of Obscure Sciences, insists her invention is not just a gimmick but a thoughtfully engineered solution. “The Dogbrella is aerodynamically designed to withstand winds up to 25 miles per hour,” she explained, demonstrating with Sir Drizzleworth in a wind tunnel she has constructed in her kitchen. “It’s lightweight, ergonomic, and collapsible—perfect for urban dog owners.”
When asked about the inevitable British weather anomaly, sideways rain, Polteen admitted the Dogbrella had its limitations. “Look, I’m not a magician,” she laughed. “If the rain’s coming at you horizontally, maybe just stay indoors and cuddle your dog.”
Future Plans
Following the early success of her invention, Polteen has plans to expand the Dogbrella line. Upcoming models include the “Winter Woof Shield,” which combines the Dogbrella with a built-in heated coat, and the “Pupshade,” a summer-friendly version with UV protection. She’s also experimenting with a two-dog tandem model for owners with multiple furry friends.
Polteen has even hinted at a more ambitious project on the horizon: the “Catcanope,” a retractable rain cover for cats. “That one’s tricky,” she admitted. “Cats don’t like anything touching them, including rain, umbrellas, or my prototypes.”
Public Reaction in Fitzrovia
On the streets of Fitzrovia, the Dogbrella has sparked lively debate. A crowd of curious onlookers gathered outside Polteen’s workshop earlier this week for a live demonstration.
“Finally, an invention Fitzrovia can be proud of,” exclaimed café owner Mabel Tuppington, who owns three bichon frisés and has already pre-ordered matching Dogbrellas.
However, some remain skeptical. “What’s next? Dog wellies?” sneered Frederick Piddlesworth, chairman of the Fitzrovia Society for Traditional Pets. “Our ancestors managed just fine with wet dogs, and so can we.”
The Road Ahead
Polteen is optimistic about the future of her invention. “This is just the beginning,” she said, her eyes gleaming with excitement. “Who knows? One day, every dog in Fitzrovia—and beyond—might be walking the streets in their very own Dogbrella. It’s not just about staying dry. It’s about dignity. Dogs deserve that.”
With orders already pouring in and a segment scheduled on “Good Morning Fitzrovia” next week, it seems the Dogbrella is set to make a splash—rain or shine. Whether it will become a canine fashion staple or simply another quirky Fitzrovia invention remains to be seen. One thing is certain: Sir Drizzleworth is no longer afraid of the rain.
