Serving Fitzrovia since 1066
As the Fitzrovia Dakar Rally rolled into the port city of Calais, competitors braced themselves for the next leg of this exhilarating cross-country challenge. Among them, Jimmy Phantom, piloting his trusty Porsche 911. The journey started with promise—under a sky painted with the hues of dawn, the convoy surged forth, engines humming with determination. Jimmy,…
Ah, the snooze button. Our modern-day lullaby, a siren song promising just "five more minutes" that invariably stretches into an hour of panicked scrambling. But fear not, weary slumberers, for salvation is at hand! Introducing the "Chronic Snoozer Slayer," the brainchild of Beatrice "Bea" Buzzkill, a Marylebone woman whose mornings were once plagued by the…
Reporter (R): Good afternoon, Fitzrovia! Today, we have the pleasure of sitting down with Jimmy Phantom, a dedicated participant in the Fitzrovia Dakar rally. Jimmy, welcome! Can you tell us what inspired you to take on this incredible challenge? Jimmy Phantom (JP): Thank you for having me! Well, I’ve always had a passion for rally…
In a fiery gastronomic mishap that could only be described as "a bit too hot to handle," local curry enthusiast and amateur spice conqueror, Barry Blazington, found himself in a spot of bother after daringly sampling the infamous "Nuclear Inferno" curry at the Fitzrovia Curry and Pork Pie eatery. The ill-fated evening began innocently enough,…
In an extraordinary display of sprightly athleticism, octogenarian Bea Pollinator triumphed in the heart-pounding Portland Place Oxford Circus Dash, leaving spectators in awe and her competitors in the dust. The race, an annual event testing the mettle of participants as they sprint from Portland Place to the bustling nexus of Oxford Circus, drew a motley…
In a brazen attempt to blur the lines between political diplomacy and reality television, Fitzrovia TV (FTV) is setting its sights on the pinnacle of entertainment: "Prime Ministers in a Swamp." This daring show, slated to redefine the boundaries of governance and showbiz, aims to gather serving prime ministers and presidents from around the world…
In a world teeming with innovative solutions, one Fitzrovian inventor has emerged as a beacon of hope for those battling the bulge. Margorie Quiltt, the mastermind behind a string of quirky inventions, has unveiled her latest marvel: the SlimSuit, a revolutionary fat reduction suit designed to curb those overindulgent moments! Crafted from space-age aluminium, the…
In a bizarre twist of digital sorcery, the formidable SEO experts at Fitzrovia’s top-notch optimization agency managed to weave such a potent online spell that local florist "Here and Fleur" was inundated with a virtual stampede of eager online shoppers. However, the astonishing success story took a unfortunate turn as the virtual rush transformed into…
In a whirl of suds and squeaky-clean excitement, a new sport has emerged from the heart of Marylebone: Competitive Dishwasher Emptying. This adrenaline-fueled domestic challenge has quickly captivated the local community, transforming the mundane chore into a riveting, high-stakes competition. The brainchild of local inventor and kitchen connoisseur, Douglas Sudsman, Competitive Dishwasher Emptying turns the…