By Clement Harbottle, Fitzrovian Affairs Editor
Fitzrovia, never shy of a quixotic invention, has once again delivered a marvel destined for the annals of genius. Local designer Susie Polteen, already celebrated for her Dogbrella, has unveiled a sequel: the Catbrella, the world’s first umbrella specifically engineered for cats.
A Leap Forward in Feline Meteorology
“Dogs were only the beginning,” Polteen explained at a rain-spattered press event outside a Charlotte Street café. “Cats, too, deserve protection from Britain’s drizzle, though they rarely admit it. The Catbrella is lightweight, paw-operated, and designed to open dramatically the instant a raindrop touches fur.”
The device resembles a transparent canopy affixed delicately to a harness, with a tail-hole and an emergency button (for use, Polteen claims, when “a cat panics and insists the umbrella is a predator”).
Mixed Reactions in Fitzrovia
Local vet Dr. Horace Mimple expressed cautious optimism: “It may work for unusually tolerant cats, perhaps those already accustomed to bow ties. For the rest, I foresee shredded nylon and wounded pride.”
On the streets, reactions were similarly split. Agnes Frobisher, seen attempting to coax her ginger tom into a prototype, reported: “The cat simply fled into a hedge, umbrella in tow. It was like watching Mary Poppins resign.”
Meanwhile, entrepreneur Rich Bigfoot of Goodge Street hailed the Catbrella as “the next big thing in luxury pet care,” adding that he is already in discussions to export them to Monaco.
What Next?
Polteen is undeterred by sceptics. “The Dogbrella was mocked too,” she reminded us, “and now it’s a household word, and no right-thinking dog would be without one. I cannot confirm or deny that I am working on a Hamster Hood or a Budgie Brolly.”
The Last Word
As Polteen posed proudly beside a damp, disinterested cat under a gently swaying Catbrella, one couldn’t help but feel that Fitzrovia had once again advanced the noble cause of innovation. I for one would never live anywhere else, not even Ross on Wye.
