By Percival Hume, Culture Editor
The latest proposal to emerge from Fitzrovia’s ever-inventive civic imagination is not another new transport scheme or an ambitious architectural folly, but something far more ethereal: an official neighbourhood scent.
The idea, floated by the Fitzrovia Cultural Committee during its quarterly meeting at a café where no coffee is served before noon, is to bottle the “essence” of Fitzrovia into a signature fragrance that will be sprayed at public events, infused into local council correspondence, and—most controversially—piped discreetly into Tube stations.
What Should Fitzrovia Smell Like?
This question, at once simple and monumental, has split the district’s residents. Advocates insist the scent must blend Fitzrovia’s history, creativity, and sheer uniqueness.
Perfumer Armand Flibber, commissioned to begin preliminary trials, describes his first draft as “a delicate layering of espresso foam, rain on Victorian brick, and the faintest trace of overheated photocopiers.” Others argue strongly for notes of sourdough starter and bicycle chain oil.
More radical voices, such as local artist Petronella Beech, suggest the fragrance should include a “discordant top note of printer ink” to reflect the area’s historic publishing houses.
Support and Opposition
Supporters see the scent as a marketing coup. “Paris has Chanel No. 5, Florence has leather, Fitzrovia deserves something equally distinctive,” declared Councillor Hector Mallard.
Opponents, however, raise practical concerns. “What if it makes me sneeze?” asked Marjorie Wintle, a long-standing resident of Cleveland Street. “Do I get to claim damages from the council if I collapse in a heap on Tottenham Court Road?”
The Fitzrovia Parrot Owners’ Association has also voiced its alarm, warning that certain fragrance molecules can cause parrots to swear uncontrollably—an outcome which, while amusing, might not suit all households.
Next Steps
A public consultation will open next month, with sample strips available at participating cafés and pubs. Citizens are invited to submit their own scent notes, although officials caution against suggestions such as “fried chicken at 3 a.m.” or “lingering vape cloud.”
If funding can be secured, the Fitzrovia Eau de Quartier could be unveiled by next summer, complete with a launch gala at the BT Tower. Whether the perfume will be sprayed from the top remains a matter of ongoing risk assessment.
We will update readers when we know more.
